In Order To Write a New Chapter, You Must Close The One You’re On

I started student teaching straight scared. Up until then, I had been in my fair share of classrooms and spent time with some great students. However, this time was the big show. This time, I had somewhat of a major responsibility. This time, it meant something.

I remember thinking that there was no way I could willingly walk into this classroom where who knew if the students would take me seriously and teach them what they need to learn. How would I be able to create and implement lesson plans without simply just being told what to teach?? How am I up to par with experienced teachers to be able to collaborate with them and make my voice and opinions heard amongst theirs???

It was scary stuff.

The thing with scary stuff though is that when you jump in, though you’re eyes are shut tight, whether you like it or not, you’re in it. It’s just up to you to make the best of it.

Looking back, I think it’s funny how scared I really was. Even though it was a new chapter in life teaching is something I was made to do! It’s what comes natural to me and I find my home easily within a classroom.

Did I have rough days where I contemplated why I made this decision of going into teaching? Oh, absolutely. Did I snap out of it within an hour or so by remembering something a student did or say that same day that was hilarious? Obviously.

I was welcomed into the Washington Woods family and found my place quickly. I made strong relationships with students and staff that I will hold as the standard for any other school I become a part of. You never realize the importance of people’s presence in your life until there is an absence of it. Saying goodbye to The Woods was a great realization for me. It was so hard for me to leave this supportive staff and relationships I had built with students – which showed how important this support was to me. It showed me that this is the kind of school and support system I need to become successful.

On my last day I was showered with hugs, drawings, mementos, things students had made, candy, cookies, and overall lots of love. Even the students who are constantly on their own planet and did not give me any indication they knew I existed gave me ‘I’ll Miss You’ notes. Needless to say I bawled my eyes out – approximately six times.

I would have never thought that it would be so hard to close a chapter of my life that I was so scared to start. With this closing chapter I am writing a new one. I might label it “Job Search”, but I hope I can think of something more witty soon. The cover art of said chapter is of me in my Abraham Lincoln t-shirt, holding my diploma from Central Michigan University in one hand and my Michigan Teaching Certificate in the other, and facing the world … (maybe listening to Ed Sheehan. I haven’t decided).

You might say that I am scared again. I wouldn’t say so. I would describe it as somewhat cool and collected, but only enough to mask the panicked-give-me-a-brown-bag version of myself in the inside.

So with this new chapter, here I am jumping. I have my eyes shut tight again and my fingers crossed hoping I don’t land on my face. I’m hoping that when I look back I, again, find it funny that I’m terrified at the start. Either way one has to jump.

I mean, it isn’t going to write itself – right?